There's crack in the water! Actually, this is what happens when Eliza abandons me to my own devices (and for my sins, she has informed me she loves it and will probably tell me to remind her to abandon me more often). You can blame her for the title, too. Blasphemous twisting of the Christian otherworld, swearing, angelpr0n, more or less in that order.

One day, Yunho gets a little too enthusiastic choreographing a "Glory to the Lord" number, overbalances, and tips himself right off of his cloud. He tumbles end over end through the sky, and finally manages to get his feet under him and his wings opened. Unfortunately, he's still flustered enough to misjudge his landing, and ends up doing a rather painful skid on his ass to avoid faceplanting into the asphalt.

The skid brings him to a halt at the feet of the prettiest mortal he's ever seen, who looks at him with night dark eyes and says, "Fuck. That looks like it hurt."

"Umm," Yunho says, a little dazed by the pain and the beauty and the, well, profanity. Then the boy smiles at him, holding out a long-boned hand, and he forgets everything except the beauty. He takes the hand and lets the boy haul him up, muscles working in well-defined arms.

"There. Now you're not bending your wings weird. I'm Jaejoong, by the way."

Yunho's dusting off his robes, but he feels a shock go through him at Jaejoong's words, and he looks up sharply. "You can see my wings?"

Jaejoong cocks his head. "Yes. Should I not be able to?"

"Most people can't, except saints, until I open their eyes." Yunho considers. "Actually, most saints need help the first time, too. You must be very pure of heart."

Jaejoong shrugs. "I'm an atheist. So why did you fall?"

Yunho draws himself up to his full height, but he's not actually as much taller than Jaejoong as most mortals he's met. "I'm not fallen!"

Jaejoong just stares at him, unintimidated. "Yeah, that's not what I asked."

"Oh." Deflated, Yunho slumps down a little, and his left wing twinges. "I, umm, tripped." Jaejoong's mouth twitches, and Yunho adds quickly, "You're taking this all very calmly."

"A friend went through something similar. How's your wing?"

Yunho wants to ask about Jaejoong's friend, but he remembers that he's down here without authorization, and he really does need to finish up his choreography. Plus, Jaejoong probably has somewhere to be. So he flexes his wings experimentally, and winces at a sharp pang toward the bottom of the left. That's going to make flying home fun. Still, he tells Jaejoong, "I'll be fine."

Jaejoong shakes his head. "And if you fall again? Maybe you better come home with me. We can try some balm on it or something."

"I--" Yunho flutters his wings in preparation for take off, has to stop when the left one spasms. "Okay."

Jaejoong only lives a few blocks away, in an older third-storey flat that overlooks a small park. Through the door, Yunho hears music, someone on a keyboard and two voices, one of which could have come from the heavenly chorus. Jaejoong produces a key, spends a few seconds swearing and fighting with the lock, then leans heavily into the door to push it inward. It sticks at one point, and Yunho adds his weight to Jaejoong's, standing almost close enough to Jaejoong's back to touch. Jaejoong smiles sidelong over his shoulder, and then the door's open far enough for Yunho to spot two more mortals inside.

"Hey, Jaejoongie," calls the one at the keyboard, glancing up mid-scale. He pauses, grinning. "Oh, hey."

"Wings!" the other mortal cries, and in his voice is that angelic tone. He doesn't feel like part of the heavenly host, however, which means he can't be the friend Jaejoong was talking about.

"Of course you can see them," Jaejoong snorts. "Yoochun, Junsu, this is Yunho." Then he points at each in turn. "Yunho, that's Yoochun, my roommate, and Junsu."

"My wife," Yoochun says, giving Yunho a once-over. His grin widens. "But we're not exclusive."

Junsu thumps Yoochun on the shoulder. "I am not your wife, we're not exclusive because we're not anything, and that's an angel you're leering at!"

Yoochun hooks his arm around Junsu's waist and leans his head against Junsu's chest. "You'd know from angels, wouldn't you?"

"Yoochun," Jaejoong says, in a patient tone that indicates their conversations often go like this, "you can see his wings, yes?"

"Yes." Yoochun turns his head to nuzzle against Junsu's shirt, so his next words are muffled. "They're not the best part to look at, though."

Junsu snorts and pulls himself free of Yoochun, taking a few steps so Yoochun can't just reach out and grab him again. He comes toward Jaejoong and Yunho, still in the entryway, and smiles. Yunho wonders if maybe his heavenly hostdar is broken; Junsu has to be one of them. Then Junsu pauses, and his smile changes.

"You're right, Yoochunnie," he says. "Much better things to look at."

Well, so much for that theory.

It's Jaejoong's turn to snort as he takes Yunho by the arm and steps inside the apartment, kicking the door closed. "Come on, the first aid kit's in the bathroom."

Yoochun stands up, leer vanishing into possibly the sweetest worried expression Yunho's ever seen.

"You're hurt?"

"He fell."

Yunho winces. "I wish you'd stop putting it like that."

Jaejoong gives him a doubtful glance. "You tripped?"

Yoochun starts snickering.

"Well, I did," Yunho says. Even to himself, he sounds defensive.

Junsu cracks up. It'd be quite the joyful noise, if it weren't aimed at him.

"So much for the grace of angels," Jaejoong says, and nearly walks into a wall before Yunho can stop him.

"Better than the grace of mortals." He shouldn't smile at Jaejoong's near-misfortune, he really shouldn't. Except Yoochun and Junsu are howling, and Jaejoong's laughing into his free hand.

"Well, yes," Jaejoong manages at last, and squeezes Yunho's hand as he tugs them once more down the hall, toward the open doorway of the bathroom. He flips on the light as they step inside, then turns to close the door behind Yunho, which puts them chest-to-chest. "The question is, can you dance?"

"I can dance." Yunho's almost tempted to brag, and okay, so maybe he fell a little. "Can you?"

"No," Jaejoong says, laughing again. Yunho isn't sure even all the heavenly host of his acquaintance are this honest.

"I can teach you."

"Maybe." Jaejoong steps away to open the medicine cabinet. "Let's see to that wing first. Where does it hurt?"

"The tip," Yunho says, then swallows as Jaejoong kneels before him, balm in hand.

"Here?" Jaejoong brushes at his feathers tentatively, then presses in to reach skin. The room grows hot. Yunho clenches his fists to keep from cupping Jaejoong's face, bending down to kiss him.

"Hi-higher."

Jaejoong loosens his touch so as not to stroke Yunho's feathers the wrong direction, then moves up and presses in again. Yunho flinches, not a big movement, but he knows Jaejoong can feel it. "Here."

"Yes. I think it's just a bruise."

"Well, we'll try the balm first. We can wrap it if necessary, though I'm not sure how that would work." Jaejoong pulls back to unscrew the lid on the balm. A strong, pungent scent fills the room as he scoops some up, then rubs his fingers a little and touches Yunho again. The balm feels cool, instantly soothing. "Is that too cold?"

"No." Yunho closes his eyes, keeps his hands at his sides.

"You sure? You tensed up just now."

"It--" Yunho opens his eyes again to see Jaejoong looking up at him, frowning. The frown eases suddenly, and Jaejoong blinks.

"Oh." He lets go of Yunho again and stands up. Then he draws just the tips of his fingers over the edges of Yunho's wings, watches Yunho with eyes deeper than any mortal's should be.

Yunho gives up on self-control. Jaejoong doesn't have wings, but his shirt is sleeveless, so Yunho runs his hands down Jaejoong's arms, soft skin over sleek muscle.

"Fuck," Jaejoong says again, then threads his fingers through Yunho's hair and pulls Yunho forward into a kiss that tastes like smoke and hot spices and feels like Hallelujah. Yunho pushes Jaejoong up against the wall, dives for more. His foot hits something on the floor--probably the balm--and he stumbles a little as it goes skittering. Jaejoong steadies him, but not before he presses Jaejoong into the wall a little too hard, a dull thud, and steps down with a sharper sound.

He pulls away from Jaejoong's mouth long enough to ask, short of breath, "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah," Jaejoong says.

There's a pounding from the other side of the door. "Everything all right in there?" Yoochun calls.

"You'd better not be having angelsex!" Junsu sounds thoroughly scandalized, and again Yunho thinks, Maybe he's-- "Not without us!"

His first impression was right.

"Get your own!" Jaejoong yells back, at which point the doorknob rattles violently.

"You bastard, you locked it!" Yoochun again, sounding less outraged than amused. "Not like I can't pick it!"

Jaejoong slides his hands down Yunho's chest to Yunho's hips, widens his stance and pulls Yunho in closer. Yunho presses up against Jaejoong, decides now would be a good time to explore the flawless skin of Jaejoong's throat. It too tastes spicy, salt-sharp and mouthwatering. Jaejoong catches his breath loudly, gasps, "It'll be over by the time you get in here."

"Fine!" There's the sound of something hitting the door, Junsu's shout of surprise cut off abruptly, clothes rustling and bodies shifting.

"Sounds like he got his own," Yunho murmurs against Jaejoong's skin, then gives into the urge to bite down. Jaejoong starts swearing again, and Yunho decides it's time to return to his mouth. Just to get him to stop, of course.

Jaejoong cups Yunho's ass, arches into him, and there's too much fabric between them. Yunho fumbles at Jaejoong's waistband, wondering why mortals insist on such complicated clothing, before Jaejoong pushes his hand aside and impatiently unbuttons and unzips himself. Yunho can handle pushing everything out of the way, gathering Jaejoong in and stroking down his back. There's nothing between them except Yunho's robes now, two layers of cloth spun from cloud, and Jaejoong seems to like the feel of it as much as Yunho does, judging by the way his hips are moving. Yunho mostly ends up hanging on for the ride, swallowing Jaejoong's gasps and moans.

Even over the sound of his own heart beating, he can hear that Yoochun's not doing the same. Junsu's voice is very beautiful and very, very loud. Then the door shakes under another impact.

"Fuck," Yoochun groans. Yunho gives up, and lets Jaejoong breathe, because if people are going to be swearing anyway, he wants to hear Jaejoong's voice.

Jaejoong, however, is more interested in kissing. He raises one hand to the back of Yunho's neck and yanks Yunho down, mouth working as energetically as hips, and it's so good, so hot, and different. Yunho's used to maneuvering around someone else's wings, used to feathers brushing his own, used to singing instead of kissing. He likes that, but he likes the feel of Jaejoong's back under his hands, Jaejoong's lips on his, Jaejoong's mortal strength holding him in place. He flexes against it, rocking with Jaejoong's rhythm.

Jaejoong sucks in a breath and shudders in his arms. The sudden burst of Jaejoong's pleasure breaks over him, in him, pulls him along to share it. Warmth spreads between them, wetness wicked away by his robes. Jaejoong makes a surprised noise, but doesn't pull away when Yunho's hold tightens. He'll explain it later, if Jaejoong needs an explanation.

Yoochun and Junsu are making a spectacular racket. Yunho suspects it's partly for his benefit, but he can also feel their genuine enjoyment, sensitized as he is. He shivers in the aftershocks.

"Are you okay?" Jaejoong's breath is warm over his ear. "I can get your wing now."

"Maybe in a minute," Yunho whispers, and he really does mean a minute, but then Jaejoong kisses him again, and Yoochun and Junsu are still at it, and it ends up being more like a lot of minutes. He doesn't mind, though, and Jaejoong doesn't complain when they finally get back to rubbing balm on his wing.

They emerge from the bathroom and almost trip over Junsu, smug and mostly naked with nude Yoochun napping on his chest.

"I thought you were pretending he was in charge this time," Jaejoong says, and Junsu shrugs.

"He wasn't moving fast enough." Junsu squeezes, then pinches, Yoochun's ass. He gets an incoherent grumble for his trouble. "Up. The bathroom's finally free, and you're heavy."

Another grumble. Then Junsu takes a breath, flexes and twists his hips in a way that makes Yunho feel dizzy just watching, and manages to roll until he's crouching over a sleepy-eyed, red-lipped Yoochun. He bends until his lips are almost touching Yoochun's, then says, "Fine. I'll leave you like this for Changmin to find."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Jaejoong asks curiously as Junsu levers himself up, and he grins.

"What do you think?" He squeezes Yunho's ass as he passes--Yunho jumps and makes an embarrassing noise--then closes the bathroom door.

"Are you hungry?" Jaejoong's heading back toward the main living area. Yunho looks down at Yoochun, who's staring at the ceiling in an apparent daze.

"Umm," Yunho says. Yoochun blinks, looks at him and smiles, slow and sweet and somehow dirty. "Do you need help getting up?"

"You could come down here."

Yunho's tempted, except he's not sure it'll do his wing any favors. He also has no idea who Changmin is. He'd prefer not to make a habit of meeting new people on his ass. He's about to say as much, when the bathroom door opens behind him and Junsu comes back out.

"Time's up," Junsu says, stepping around Yunho to reach down and haul Yoochun up. There's no grumbling this time; Yoochun never loses his smile. He gives Yunho a little wave as he passes.

"Someone should help Jaejoong with dinner," he says, and then there are two hands on Yunho's butt before Yoochun and Junsu disappear into the bathroom. Yunho stares at the door, thoughts incoherent, until he hears the shower turn on.

He goes to help Jaejoong with dinner.

Jaejoong smiles at him across the breakfast bar, holding out a slice of orange. Yunho takes it. It doesn't taste as good as Jaejoong, but it's probably more nutritious. He swallows and asks, "Need a hand?"

"Do you know how to cut vegetables?"

"I can learn."

Jaejoong's smile widens. "Not from that side of the counter."

Yunho answers the smile and starts to round the corner, but then he feels a rush of wickedness, and the front door opens on a tall figure. He throws himself between the opening to the kitchen and the stranger as he cries out, "Be gone, fiend!"

"Calm down, Yunho! That's Changmin, not a fiend!" Jaejoong pauses, his hand on Yunho's back. "Well, actually, he used to be a fiend. But he got better."

Yunho stares at the new arrival, who stares back, one eyebrow raised. "Got better?"

"I did, actually," Changmin says. "I did some good deeds, and I thought I should retire before the others came after me."

"Why wouldn't they come after you if you retired?" Yunho asks suspiciously.

"I don't count for the quota. If I were still there, they'd have to rat me out. Now they can ignore me unless I get too good."

"Never going to happen," Jaejoong declares. He reaches around Yunho and makes a 'gimme' gesture. "What did you bring?"

Changmin hefts up a paper bag. "Three bottles of the good stuff."

"See? Never going to happen. You can help me teach Yunho to chop vegetables."

Changmin raises an eyebrow. "You trust me with a knife?"

"He'll have the knife. You'll supervise." Jaejoong tugs at Yunho, who steps aside a little warily to let Changmin pass. Changmin smiles at him with deceptive innocence, handsome even for a devil. Yunho would tell himself he's not affected, but he's not supposed to lie, even in his head.

"So," Changmin says, "you fell?"

Through the rush of righteous wrath, Yunho hears Jaejoong say, "How about I keep the knife?"

"I tripped!"

"Of course you did."

"Angels don't lie!"

"You can argue or you can eat," Jaejoong says loudly. Changmin shuts his mouth, but he keeps smiling. It sets Yunho on edge. Changmin stops smiling when Jaejoong thumps him on the arm.

"Hey!" Changmin thumps Jaejoong back before Yunho can intervene.

"Quit being a brat!" Jaejoong shifts, but Yunho manages to get between them this time, and Jaejoong hits him instead. Hard. "Hey!"

"Eat or argue," Yunho says sternly, rubbing his arm. Changmin starts to laugh as Jaejoong sulks.

"I was just trying to make him be nice to you."

"Aiming for miracles?" Changmin manages. "I thought you were an atheist."

"If I stop believing in you, will you go away?"

"What about your angel here?"

"I saw him fall. Trip. Anyway, proof."

"You don't have proof I'm a former demon?"

Jaejoong hesitates, which makes Changmin start laughing again, which makes Jaejoong's mouth twitch. Yunho remembers Jaejoong's laughter, takes a risk he can draw it out again. "What were Changmin's good deeds, anyway?"

That does the trick. Jaejoong's hand goes to his mouth and his eyes crinkle up as he laughs, which sets off Changmin even more. Yunho's nearly laughing in response, though he doesn't know the joke. "I really want to know!"

"He tripped me so I fell on Yoochun when I needed a roommate," Jaejoong gets out, and the sound of his voice flavored with laughter is one of the sweetest things Yunho's ever heard. "Then he got Yoochun drunk and abandoned him in front of Junsu's building when he decided Yoochun needed a boyfriend."

"Those are good deeds?"

"Worked, didn't they?" Changmin wheezes, and laughs harder at what Yunho has no doubt is his most incredulous expression. He's certainly feeling incredulous.

"They would have worked if you'd done them in a way that didn't endanger anybody."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Yoochun asks, coming down the hall practically draped against Junsu. "What's for dinner?"

"You if you trip me," Junsu threatens, jerking Yoochun upright. "Pay attention to where your feet are."

"At the end of my legs."

Junsu makes a disgusted sound and tries to duck out from under Yoochun's arm, but Yoochun hangs on, leaning heavily enough to make Junsu stagger. Probably to forestall retaliation, Yoochun says brightly, "Speaking of legs, hi, Changmin!"

Changmin's recovered enough to straighten up and roll his eyes. "Hi, Yoochun. Always glad to see you doing your part for evil."

"I'm being an attentive boyfriend!"

"Attentive is singing to me, not using me as a walking aid." Junsu gets them to the breakfast bar, then pushes Yoochun away. "Go molest Changmin."

"Changmin's helping with dinner, and so are you," Jaejoong says, picking up a knife and wielding it meaningfully. "Changmin, start the rice. I'm going to show Yunho how to chop vegetables. You two are setting the table."

Yoochun sidles closer to Junsu and puts his head on Junsu's shoulder. "Aww, it looks like we get more together time, sweetie."

"How much more together time do you get, Yunho?" Changmin asks from behind him, and Jaejoong pauses in his chopping.

"Someone will come check on me," Yunho says, trying to sound casual and knowing he's failing. "They'll have to help me get back up there, though."

"Maybe they'll wait until your wing is healed," Junsu offers after a pause. "They'd know, wouldn't they?"

"That's--" a good point, Yunho is about to say, but then there's a strong gust of wind outside the window, followed by polite tapping. Hovering on the other side is Dana, who smiles at Yunho and writes in glittery angeldust on the pane:

DON'T SWEAT IT. YOU'RE AUTHORIZED FOR THE LONG-TERM.

Yunho looks up from the last letter to see her giving him two thumbs up. Then she blows a kiss--to Changmin--and waves to the others, after which she flies away with another buffeting of the glass, the angeldust fading away.

"'Don't sweat it?'" Yoochun says. "Whatever happened to, 'Be not afraid?'"

"Okay, a) it's been a few millenia," Junsu answers, "and even heaven can change in that time and b) don't even try to tell me you've read the Bible."

"Know thine enemy."

Yunho decides to tackle one question at a time and turns on Changmin. "How do you know Dana?"

Changmin, amazingly, looks a little pink in the face. "We've met here a time or two."

"As in battle?"

"Something like that."

Right, ex-demon. Yunho makes a note to ask Dana about it later. Then he turns back to Yoochun and says, "Enemy?"

Yoochun just grins at him again, that wicked, sweet grin. "It's an excuse to keep him close."

Yunho's not buying it now, though, and he eyes Junsu again, who only looks at him with a carefully neutral expression. How long, he wonders, does it take for the aura to fade?

"Jaejoong," he finally says, slow and deliberate, "do you have any friends that this hasn't happened to?"

"Yes," Jaejoong says promptly. "Some of them are still practicing, so to speak. Like you."

"Yet you're an atheist."

"Well, yes." Jaejoong sounds like it's the only reasonable course of action. After a minute, Yunho has to admit that maybe it is.

He leans closer to Jaejoong and says, "Okay, show me how to cut these things."

~END~